As mothers, we are teachers, counselors, drill sergeants, and sometimes comic relief. It’s easy for us to forget that our children have wisdom of their own from which we, as adults, can learn. This is a conversation with my 15-year-old daughter, Lily. I think she’s pretty great! She has a lot to learn and a lot to experience in her life, but she has taught me a few things…
Heidi: Lily, ever since I can remember, you have marched to the beat of your own drum. Your style in clothes, books, and music has never been determined by what your peers are doing, but by what brings you joy. I love that about you! You’ve taught me that it’s okay to go against current culture and be your authentic self. I was that way in my teens, but I lost that freedom as I got older.
Lily: Why did you lose that freedom?
Heidi: Well, the older I got, the more I began to compare myself with my peers and change myself to fit into a certain mold, till one day I didn’t know who I was. I had lost my true self.
Lily: How did you find yourself again?
Heidi: I came to a point where I wasn’t happy with who I was becoming. My relationship with Jesus had always been there, but I realized that is was very shallow. As I began to go deeper with the Lord, he began to gently show me the areas that I needed to change. As I stepped out of that mold and into a more serious relationship with Jesus, my authentic self started to appear. Now I feel myself again!
Lily: Thankfully, He didn’t change your humor. You’ve taught me how to let loose, laugh, and have fun. I'm super uptight and tend to take things and myself way too seriously, but you calm me down with your silly jokes and funny faces. My favorite is the ugly cry.
Heidi: When I bring humor into a heavy situation, does that help you cope with it?
Lily: Yeah, like the time at the science center, years ago, when I got scared of the robotic dinosaurs. You made up a story about Timmy the T-Rex hiding a tea set because he wanted to have a tea party with the other dinosaurs in the exhibit. You took it from a terrifying dinosaur to a cute, lovable friend.
Heidi: Oh, wow! I totally forgot about that. Speaking of scary monsters, you’ve felt a call on your life to go into politics and change the world one vote at a time. I love watching your passion for law and justice grow as you prepare to lead our nation someday. You think about how your present actions will affect your future. You have inspired me to make decisions today, based on how they will impact tomorrow.
Lily: Thanks Mom, will you vote for me?
Heidi: Of course! I did not have that kind of vision and ambition when I was your age. My dream was to be an archeologist, but because of fear and doubt I never pursued it. That, and I found out the “ology” part meant it was a science, and I was not about to take any more science than I had to in college. The only digging I do now is through that pile of laundry that I don’t want to fold.
Lily: Mom, I'm going to tell you what you’ve always told me. “Doing what you don’t want to do is character building.” As much as I cringe when I hear you say it, doing hard things does build character. We come from a long line of tough women, and I plan to continue that tradition.
Heidi: I know you will! Growing up, my parents taught me that good character was more important than great achievements, perfect grades, and social status. I never felt pressure to be outwardly perfect, but I did understand the importance of having godly character. This is something I hope to pass on to you and your sisters. No matter how many achievements you have, how perfect your grades are, how high your social status, I want your character to be stronger than your success.
Lily: Your parents also taught you to love music and you have passed that passion down to my sisters and me. You bought me my very first violin and introduced me to all sorts of music, my favorites being classical, Irish, and Americana. I started playing when I was four years old, and plan to continue for the rest of my life, maybe even get some college scholarships. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Heidi: Well, I know your dad would. You’ve inspired me to not give up trying to learn new things. I hear that beautiful violin sound coming from your room all throughout the day and I remember, when you first started, how much of a struggle it was to get you to practice. So many times, I thought about giving up. We endured many squeaky notes and tears, but finally, a couple years into it, something clicked and your love for playing ignited. You are such an inspiration. I can't wait to see how God is going to use you in the future. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’” Jeremiah 29:11.
Lily: Thanks, Mom. That’s my favorite verse. I’m glad I was able to teach you a few things. Does that mean you trust me to drive your van?
Heidi:I love you, but no!
–Heidi Beall
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