Today feels heavy. Maybe because it is.
Almost every year of my life, Maundy Thursday passed by without much thought. The real action happened on Friday to Sunday, so why dwell on the weight of Jesus’ suffering when I could think about the joy of his being raised back to life?
This year is different. Maybe it’s the constant stream of hard things we’ve faced over the past year that makes the circumstances of today seem heavier, or maybe it’s the overwhelming thought of what Jesus endured on my behalf, but I have felt the weight of it today.
Today was the day our Savior broke bread with his betrayer.
Today is the day the disciples had their final Passover meal with Jesus before his death, though they did not understand it yet.
Today is the day Jesus demonstrated what it means to serve in the face of selfishness.
Today is the day Jesus prayed so hard that he bled.
Today is the day his humanness reminded us all that there is nothing wrong with asking for a different way so long as we ultimately submit to God’s way.
Today is the day the disciples laid down to sleep not knowing the brutality that would come with the morning.
Today is Maundy Thursday. The word maundy means “command” and it refers to Jesus’ command to “Love one another as I have loved you.”
So how did he love?
Even when it hurt, he loved.
Even when it cost him, he loved.
Even when it was counter-cultural, he loved.
Even when he was rejected, he loved.
Even to the end, he loved.
The weight of today is apparent to us, and I sometimes wonder if the disciples felt it even though they didn’t yet understand what was about to happen.
Jesus certainly did. Jesus said to His disciples before praying in Gethsemane, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death…” (Mt. 26:38). The weight he carried represented a love that took on suffering for the sake of healing, a love that bore sin for the sake of forgiveness, a love that emptied itself for the sake of saving.
I want to acknowledge the place that today rightfully holds in our redemption story. But I also want to acknowledge that our story does not end with heaviness.
Though we have not yet reached the depth of suffering, we look forward to the heights of life we are offered through the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This is the day Jesus spoke the words, “You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy” (John 16:20).
This is the day Jesus told his disciples, “Because I live, you also will live” (John 14:19).
The weight, the gravity of today can pull us down, but we know that Jesus now stands with scars testifying to the fact that he has broken every chain. The weight draws us ever nearer to the Savior, where he lifts the weight and places it back where it belongs: at the cross where he left it.
Courtney Watson
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