Picture this: It’s 6:45am. I’m brushing my hair out before it dries, and I let it have its way for the remainder of the day. All is well until the hand holding the brush falls faster than expected to my side. I should have known what had happened when I heard a “snap” for the second time that month. Much to my surprise, I have just managed to break my second hairbrush in half.
I can’t tell you why or how; all I can tell you is that I had half a brush still tangled in my hair when I looked back up into the mirror. After my initial shock passed, stubbornness set in. “I refuse to buy a third brush,” I thought.
Two weeks later I bought a third brush. And I decided to keep the broken one as a new and improved travel hairbrush. Partly because I’m stubborn, and partly because I actually think it’s brilliant.
The point of this story is not that I bought three hairbrushes. I want to focus on the two weeks it took for me to make the purchase. Every day for those two weeks I used that handle-less brush to untangle my hair. Was it the easiest or the fastest way to comb out my tangles? Absolutely not. I kept using it not because it was the best option but because I was so angry at the audacity of my hair to be so tangled it could snap a brush clean in half. Also, because it felt like a punishment I deserved for the combination of unruly curls and untempered impatience that is my life.
I knew what I should do. I knew I should trade the broken thing in for the unbroken thing. I knew doing so would make my morning routine a bit easier. It would also mean I stopped being angry about a part of me I’m not always thrilled to see in the mirror. But I just couldn’t do it.
How many times have you held onto something you know you need to let go of?
Have you stubbornly held onto your pride, your expectations of how things were supposed to be, your unhealthy relationship, your past sin, your life plan, your own broken hairbrush?
I believe we all have something. Something we have a hard time parting with either because we’re stubborn or we’re scared. Or both.
Think of Moses. He fled Egypt and built a life for himself in Midian. He may not have been where he wanted to be, but he was resigned to this life. Until God showed up to the party in the form of a burning bush and told him to pack up and get to it.
The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob took the form of a flame in a bush that was burning but not consumed. The ground on which Moses stepped became holy as the presence of the great I AM filled the scene. Moses, the man who had resigned himself to a life shepherding sheep in Midian, was being called by God. Moses’s response?
Who am I that I should go…? (Exodus 3:11)
What shall I say to them? (Exodus 3:13)
They will not believe me or listen to my voice. (Exodus 4:1)
I am not eloquent…but I am slow of speech and of tongue. (Exodus 4:10)
Moses doubted his own ability to answer the Lord’s call because he was holding on to his own insecurity. He was just a shepherd now, a felon according to those in Egypt. He was not someone with authority, someone who could lead people, someone who could string compelling sentences together to incite confidence and action.
Just like Moses, we are often held back by holding on to something other than the word of God. I don’t want to diminish the struggle we have with this. It’s not easy to open our hands and allow our expectations to fall away. It’s not easy to open our eyes to see the beauty of the Lord reflected in our mirrors. It’s not easy to open our hearts and let go of hurtful comments of days gone by or memories of all the times we didn’t measure up to someone’s standard.
But y’all, when the Lord calls our name, when He meets us in our resignation of what our lives will or will not be, we are standing on holy ground. We are facing the power and truth of the great I AM, and the only fitting response is to lift our empty hands and open hearts.
Insecurities be gone, doubts be defeated, stubbornness be turned to surrender. Because in reality, we are not holding these things as much as they are holding us. They are holding us back from living the life and doing the work the Lord has planned for us to do. They are keeping us from experiencing the abundant life Jesus came to offer.
There is no hold so great as the love of God. May we lay down all that’s in our hands and heart to hold this great love.
Courtney Watson
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